Lindsey & Bill: Moving In
I was talking to Lindsey from NNN / Tumblr about moving in with a significant other. While it is important to care about *your* needs, there is also another side to this 'big move' that you may want to consider before you pack you bags.....
Five tips for the fellaz if you let a chick move in with you:
1) Bedroom Entertainment:
B: Make sure there's a television in your bedroom so she can vamoose when the fellaz come over to watch the game or play some cards. Also, make sure your favorite video game system's attached to it for when she invites the girls over to watch chick flicks! :O (Don't forget noise-canceling headphones).
L: Yes, while it is important to have 2 separate TVs because let’s face it, not all women like to watch Monday night football, make sure you ALSO have some of those fold out chairs handy in your room. When she’s watching Grey’s anatomy, Sex and the City and playing some video games of her own (yes, we do love video games), you should have places for your friends to sit in your room. Chances are, you aren’t all going to want to sit on your bed. And don’t you dare kicking her out of the living room…first come, first served
2) Guests of the Opposite Sex:
B: Lay down the law. Don't fold! :D Let her know that if your homegirls want to stay over in the guest room or on the couch, that that's EXACTLY what's going to happen!..... Of course, you might want to trade this option for leverage against her inviting dudes over to your crib. :/
L: Personally, I don’t mind if you have girls stay over. I trust you, plus I’ll be home in case the shit hits the fan. On the other hand, you have to learn how to trust her. If she brings a guy back that’s her friend, then it’s her friend, unless she tells you otherwise. After all, isn’t that what a relationship is about? Trust.
3) Sleeping Arrangements:
B: Before you invite a chick to move in with you, make sure she's comfortable with sleeping on the OPPOSITE SIDE of the bed from YOUR SIDE! :D Also, check to see if she's a cover-hog when she sleeps. You know, how you go to sleep all toasty and wake up in the beginning stages of catching a cold, because somehow, she wrapped ALL the covers around her like a cocoon while you both were asleep?
L: This is definitely true. And while you’re defining sides of the bed, make sure that you define where the middle is. She’s probably much smaller than you – which DOES NOT meant that her side is smaller. If you merely spread out, you take up more than 60% of the bed, where as if she does the same, she takes up 35% of the bed. Your own personal space of the bed should be divided evenly, not according to size. Oh, and make sure you get another blanket…just in case.
4) Post-Sex Arrangements:
B: Now that she's living with you, you can't tell her you have to go home right after you tap that. :( Figure out some protocols as far as her falling asleep on top of you (hopefully *after* the sex, not during), or babbling incessantly about some nonsense while you're trying to enjoy the silence and reminisce about how sweetly you just waxed that.
L: As if. Who says that she’s not the one that will be kicking YOUR ass out of bed? If you did a good job, chances are she’ll be fast asleep and you can sleep peacefully. If not… there’s only one person to blame and I’ll give you a hint: it’s not her.
5) Put The Toilet Seat Down!:
B: Women always enjoy feeling that you recognize them as ladies. One way to do that is to put the toilet seat down after you're finished. Another apparently useful tip for some of you is..... Put the toilet seat *UP* before you START! :/
L: Agreed completely. No one likes cleaning toilets, and no one like looking at all the grime and mold hanging out under the toilet seat. If you put it down when you’re done, it not only looks cleaner, but there will be one less reason for her to bitch at you. And if you really LIKE to leave the toilet seat up, then you can be the one to clean it after every use!
Five tips for the ladies when you move in with your significant other.
1) Remember he’s a guy!:
L: He’s not some chick you found on craigslist who barely knows you and is always walking on glass around you to not piss you off. A guy is a guy and not all guys care about cleanliness like we do. So the next time he doesn’t do his dishes or doesn’t make the bed, remember, it’s not the end of the world. Take a deep breath – this is what you signed up for.
B: True That! :D This is the reason why the ladies need to study his habits BEFORE moving in with him. Were the dishes always washed when you came over? Was the bed always made? Was the laundry always done? Was the garbage taken out? If not, don't expect anything to be different when you arrive on the set.
2) Bathroom stuff:
L: Chances are, like most women, we like to have our specific soaps, lotions, shampoos that smell really good and perhaps cost a bit more. On the other hand, chances are, guys aren’t going to know whether it’s a $5 bottle of face lotion or a $50 bottle. If you don’t want him using it, make sure he has his own! Next time you buy something of that nature, pick him up the cheaper – guy version. He won’t care and this will keep him out of your expensive stuff!
B: No doubt! :D If it says "Shampoo" on it, it's getting used. A LOT OF IT! Make sure the closest thing to the shower is the LEAST expensive/cherished. For guys, it's like "wash hair, grab bottle, pour, use, pour, use more". Nobody cares what the brand is! :D
3) TIVO.
L: One way to piss off your guy is to erase his tivo’d football/basketball game. After a long day of work when he comes home, all he wants to do is catch up with the score of the game. If he sees that you erased a game from the basketball playoff series with an episode from the Hills, start packing your bags. This is not good. If there isn’t enough space, erase YOUR show.
B: UH-OH! :O OMG! This is amazing. I hadn't even CONSIDERED this. Fellas! Make sure your cable box has child-proofing. Make sure that you get something with an access code that's necessary for "admin privileges". Imagine that you saved up that MMA show for a whole week, until you were really prepared to enjoy it, then it's just.not.there! :O The chick might get the "Fred Flintstone" out into the hallway, but that doesn't bring your personal entertainment back. :(
4) Get a bathroom trash… with a cover
L: Ok so we all know that girls, for some reason, have trash to throw away in the bathroom and guys don’t. I went to my boyfriend’s house the other day and neither him nor his roommate cared that they didn’t have a trash. At my apartment, our bathroom trash gets filled EVERY DAY. Not to mention, when it’s your time of the month. The last thing that guys wants to have to see is feminine products staring them in the face when they’re in the bathroom. Enough said.
B: um... Wow. See, this isn't a problem when you don't live with a chick, because that stuff gets bagged and goes out the door WITH her. I can't imagine needing trash in the bathroom, because guys leave the bathroom with whatever they walked in it with. :) Being that chicks have various items that they might need to remove from their person and dispose of, this is an excellent tip.
5) Decorations
L: This is not your personal space anymore – now that you live with a guy you will have to be considerate of his personal tastes too. This means, NO pink bedsheets with flowers, no posters of men on your wall and not frilly butterflies or stars and hearts decorations. Try to pick color schemes that are neutral and friendly to both of you. You don’t want his friends coming over to the bright pink room and getting the wrong impression of him, right?
B: LOLOLOL @ "... posters of men on your wall"... VETO! Forget about his friends' impressions. If you're trying to have a good time in your bedroom, you want the environment to be conducive to your guy being inspired to tap that proppah. You need to think of your PHYSICAL satisfaction before your VISUAL satisfaction. Srsly! :D
1) Bedroom Entertainment:
B: Make sure there's a television in your bedroom so she can vamoose when the fellaz come over to watch the game or play some cards. Also, make sure your favorite video game system's attached to it for when she invites the girls over to watch chick flicks! :O (Don't forget noise-canceling headphones).
L: Yes, while it is important to have 2 separate TVs because let’s face it, not all women like to watch Monday night football, make sure you ALSO have some of those fold out chairs handy in your room. When she’s watching Grey’s anatomy, Sex and the City and playing some video games of her own (yes, we do love video games), you should have places for your friends to sit in your room. Chances are, you aren’t all going to want to sit on your bed. And don’t you dare kicking her out of the living room…first come, first served
2) Guests of the Opposite Sex:
B: Lay down the law. Don't fold! :D Let her know that if your homegirls want to stay over in the guest room or on the couch, that that's EXACTLY what's going to happen!..... Of course, you might want to trade this option for leverage against her inviting dudes over to your crib. :/
L: Personally, I don’t mind if you have girls stay over. I trust you, plus I’ll be home in case the shit hits the fan. On the other hand, you have to learn how to trust her. If she brings a guy back that’s her friend, then it’s her friend, unless she tells you otherwise. After all, isn’t that what a relationship is about? Trust.
3) Sleeping Arrangements:
B: Before you invite a chick to move in with you, make sure she's comfortable with sleeping on the OPPOSITE SIDE of the bed from YOUR SIDE! :D Also, check to see if she's a cover-hog when she sleeps. You know, how you go to sleep all toasty and wake up in the beginning stages of catching a cold, because somehow, she wrapped ALL the covers around her like a cocoon while you both were asleep?
L: This is definitely true. And while you’re defining sides of the bed, make sure that you define where the middle is. She’s probably much smaller than you – which DOES NOT meant that her side is smaller. If you merely spread out, you take up more than 60% of the bed, where as if she does the same, she takes up 35% of the bed. Your own personal space of the bed should be divided evenly, not according to size. Oh, and make sure you get another blanket…just in case.
4) Post-Sex Arrangements:
B: Now that she's living with you, you can't tell her you have to go home right after you tap that. :( Figure out some protocols as far as her falling asleep on top of you (hopefully *after* the sex, not during), or babbling incessantly about some nonsense while you're trying to enjoy the silence and reminisce about how sweetly you just waxed that.
L: As if. Who says that she’s not the one that will be kicking YOUR ass out of bed? If you did a good job, chances are she’ll be fast asleep and you can sleep peacefully. If not… there’s only one person to blame and I’ll give you a hint: it’s not her.
5) Put The Toilet Seat Down!:
B: Women always enjoy feeling that you recognize them as ladies. One way to do that is to put the toilet seat down after you're finished. Another apparently useful tip for some of you is..... Put the toilet seat *UP* before you START! :/
L: Agreed completely. No one likes cleaning toilets, and no one like looking at all the grime and mold hanging out under the toilet seat. If you put it down when you’re done, it not only looks cleaner, but there will be one less reason for her to bitch at you. And if you really LIKE to leave the toilet seat up, then you can be the one to clean it after every use!
1) Remember he’s a guy!:
L: He’s not some chick you found on craigslist who barely knows you and is always walking on glass around you to not piss you off. A guy is a guy and not all guys care about cleanliness like we do. So the next time he doesn’t do his dishes or doesn’t make the bed, remember, it’s not the end of the world. Take a deep breath – this is what you signed up for.
B: True That! :D This is the reason why the ladies need to study his habits BEFORE moving in with him. Were the dishes always washed when you came over? Was the bed always made? Was the laundry always done? Was the garbage taken out? If not, don't expect anything to be different when you arrive on the set.
2) Bathroom stuff:
L: Chances are, like most women, we like to have our specific soaps, lotions, shampoos that smell really good and perhaps cost a bit more. On the other hand, chances are, guys aren’t going to know whether it’s a $5 bottle of face lotion or a $50 bottle. If you don’t want him using it, make sure he has his own! Next time you buy something of that nature, pick him up the cheaper – guy version. He won’t care and this will keep him out of your expensive stuff!
B: No doubt! :D If it says "Shampoo" on it, it's getting used. A LOT OF IT! Make sure the closest thing to the shower is the LEAST expensive/cherished. For guys, it's like "wash hair, grab bottle, pour, use, pour, use more". Nobody cares what the brand is! :D
3) TIVO.
L: One way to piss off your guy is to erase his tivo’d football/basketball game. After a long day of work when he comes home, all he wants to do is catch up with the score of the game. If he sees that you erased a game from the basketball playoff series with an episode from the Hills, start packing your bags. This is not good. If there isn’t enough space, erase YOUR show.
B: UH-OH! :O OMG! This is amazing. I hadn't even CONSIDERED this. Fellas! Make sure your cable box has child-proofing. Make sure that you get something with an access code that's necessary for "admin privileges". Imagine that you saved up that MMA show for a whole week, until you were really prepared to enjoy it, then it's just.not.there! :O The chick might get the "Fred Flintstone" out into the hallway, but that doesn't bring your personal entertainment back. :(
4) Get a bathroom trash… with a cover
L: Ok so we all know that girls, for some reason, have trash to throw away in the bathroom and guys don’t. I went to my boyfriend’s house the other day and neither him nor his roommate cared that they didn’t have a trash. At my apartment, our bathroom trash gets filled EVERY DAY. Not to mention, when it’s your time of the month. The last thing that guys wants to have to see is feminine products staring them in the face when they’re in the bathroom. Enough said.
B: um... Wow. See, this isn't a problem when you don't live with a chick, because that stuff gets bagged and goes out the door WITH her. I can't imagine needing trash in the bathroom, because guys leave the bathroom with whatever they walked in it with. :) Being that chicks have various items that they might need to remove from their person and dispose of, this is an excellent tip.
5) Decorations
L: This is not your personal space anymore – now that you live with a guy you will have to be considerate of his personal tastes too. This means, NO pink bedsheets with flowers, no posters of men on your wall and not frilly butterflies or stars and hearts decorations. Try to pick color schemes that are neutral and friendly to both of you. You don’t want his friends coming over to the bright pink room and getting the wrong impression of him, right?
B: LOLOLOL @ "... posters of men on your wall"... VETO! Forget about his friends' impressions. If you're trying to have a good time in your bedroom, you want the environment to be conducive to your guy being inspired to tap that proppah. You need to think of your PHYSICAL satisfaction before your VISUAL satisfaction. Srsly! :D
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Derek on -
Welcome back! Very funny read. No comments at the moment -- but I am thinking...
- Two Tivos
- Two medicine cabinets (or a large toiletry bag for the guy)
- absolutely two bed sheets (or one, and one for the ready)
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Permalink Reply by Bill Cammack on
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No doubt! Contingency Plans are IN ORDER! :D
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Permalink Reply by Kenya on -
Amen on the toilet seat. No one wants to go into the bathroom in the middle of the night and feel cold water on her butt because she has fallen into the toilet. :)
I'd like to see some guidelines for men moving in with their girl as well as it happens that way as well.
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Permalink Reply by Derek on
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See, I don't understand this! I, a man, decided I'd go the OTHER way. I put BOTH seats down. But, I NEVER hear of a woman say they have a problem with peeing all over the cover in the middle of the night.
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hmmm..... Fascinating... Revolutionary, Even.....
A GUY moving in with HIS GIRL? Why in the world would he want to do THAT? :D
I mean... Didn't you see Jungle Fever? Remember when Wesley's girl finds out about the other chick and throws all his gear out the window and causes a big scene? hahahaha That can't happen to you if she finds out you were cheating when she's in HER OWN CRIB!
I mean... I guess it's possible... Technically..... Like maybe your girl's roommate moves out and their place is better than yours, so you move in with her... or, I guess... maybe she lives 5 minutes from where your job is?
See, there's no reason for a guy to move in with his girl, because she's always going to be over your crib anyway. She's a permanent fixture, like your couch. Without moving anything or changing anything, you have 125% access to her, 25 hours a day, 8 days a week. :D There's nothing that you can do that will get you MORE time with your girl if she's into you. What you want is to GET RID OF HER once in a while, which you can't do if she lives in your crib! :D
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