Is it better to yell or remain calm?

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Permalink Reply by I'm sitting in the dark playing with scotch tape. on June 4, 2008 at 9:31pm

yes.

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Permalink Reply by Professor Imagine on June 5, 2008 at 10:59pm

no.

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Permalink Reply by Alex V. on June 4, 2008 at 10:00pm

I honestly have no idea... I think it depends on your personality how you manifest yourself. Personally when I get really really angry I scream like hell. That happens once in a while, I guess it's when the pressure accumulated over time gets too much and I have to vent it. The rest of the time I try not to get angry, which is easier said than done...

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Permalink Reply by Paul Dateh on June 5, 2008 at 1:12am

Yeah, I guess it really comes down to a case-by-case basis. I'm more of the "yell" type, too, when I get really angry. It just feels more productive, like I'm taking that anger and externalizing it. And although I really do feel better afterwards, I sometimes wonder if I could achieve that same relief through more calm methods.

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Permalink Reply by Paul Dateh on June 6, 2008 at 1:44am

Just to be clear, I don't believe in yelling at people (or taking out your anger on other people) at all: that's definitely NOT productive.

By "yelling", I mean going somewhere that is away from other people and just letting your anger out in a way that doesn't affect others around you. For me, I usually go to a batting cage, and hit 20 pitches or so. I focus all my anger on the ball and try to smash the crap out of it with the bat. I feel much better afterwards.

Although many people have told me that meditation is very beneficial, I just haven't had enough patience to really give it a fair try. That's why I wanted to ask if anyone here has found meditation to be their solution of choice.

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Permalink Reply by Derek on June 5, 2008 at 2:38pm

Well, I would do anything that would NOT make the situation worse. Let's say you are late for an important job interview, and you get pulled over by the police.

- if you yell at the cop, you could end up in jail (or court) and definitely miss the interview
- if you're angry when you get to the interview, you won't have a good interview and lose the job

So the best time is a time when you can't affect any one else. If you are angry a lot, take up kick boxing -and get a black belt at it.

Or, buy a bunch of 6 foot florescence tube lights, a big push broom, and a rent a space to break the lights - one at a time. Then clean up the mess and chill.

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Permalink Reply by Paul Dateh on June 6, 2008 at 1:35am

After reading your comment, I realized that I should have phrased my question within a better context. Your physical surroundings definitely have a direct impact on choosing an effective course for dealing with your anger. If you're surrounded by people, it's probably best not to get violent and start throwing things around! LOL.

What I should have asked is this: "What do you think is the healthiest way to deal with anger when you're completely alone?"

(I'll make sure to edit the original post above to show the revised question.)

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Permalink Reply by Niegel on June 5, 2008 at 4:46pm

i would think that staying calm and thinking things out works better.

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Permalink Reply by Christian on June 5, 2008 at 8:31pm

in my opinion, it's a waste of energy to get all upset, to start yelling and what not, what's the purpose really .. . yea, you may feel better for a moment, but you'll just end up looking like a douche and most likely regret what you said to whomever .. . but maybe it's just my personality as Alex V. was saying .. .

maybe i think too much, as i always try to rationalize things, why is a person is yelling or upset or just being a prick, maybe they're just having a really shit day and they have no other way to vent.. . maybe they don't know how to correctly express themselves .. . who knows .. . but seriously .. . there is so much bad shit happening in this world and we're only here for a blink of an eye, why allow myself to get all discombobulated .. .



i'll use a line from Scroobius Pip, that summarizes it better then i could .. .

"But I will offer you advice on dealing with life,
Its ups and its downs,
Its troubles and its strifes,
Now I'm sure you've had times when you've felt down or angry,
Wanted to lash out, punch a wall and be manly,
But the question I pose now will offer you a plan B,
And maybe some peace and quiet for your friends and family,
How hard is it to decide to be in a good mood,
And then just be.. in.. a good mood?
That's all I have to say because it's a straight up fact,
You control your emotions it's as simple as that"

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Permalink Reply by Professor Imagine on June 5, 2008 at 11:17pm

yeah... what they all said.

and don't get married to someone who you can't maintain your cool with... esp. if she's like... the only person you can't keep your cool with.

it's not the Universe challenging you to rise above your emotions. it's just a bad idea.

[the preceding announcement was provided by "The Voice of Experience."]

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Permalink Reply by Mr. Kamikaze on June 6, 2008 at 12:10am

I think that it is generally a good idea to restrain yourself from blowing up in any situation because starting to yell and scream usually lets a discussion get out of control. never a good thing as one would imagine.

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Permalink Reply by LVS on June 6, 2008 at 2:00am

Alone and angry... mmm. Yeah I dont get angry at myself when I'm alone. My anger and frustration is normally projected onto other people.

Okay but for the sake of your question I'm going to answer it. I'm filled with rage and alone. What shall I do? Find something that makes my anger useful. Turn on Rage against the Machine full bore (much to the annoyance of all people within a 5 block radius). I cant sit still to Rage so if I was at home I'd end up cleaning half of my house expending all of that bottled up feeling.

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